Stigma part 3

Tit: Stork?

(page)
Call me IV

(page)
I thought I was empty because I had no past
But the fact is, I was empty from the start.
When my memory returned so unexpectedly, I lay for a while on the bed wondering what to do. The dawn came again, as if pushing the darkness away. Beside me Tit turned over in his sleep. My shoulders jumped in surprise and I looked down at him. The minute I saw his peaceful sleeping face, I became afraid. Yeah, I don't know why, but I was afraid and I ran.

I thought, it's probably for the best.
You could never have flown in a sky as dirty as this

(page)

(page)
Tit: Stork
'You forgot something,' Tit said. He held out my briefcase stuffed with scrap paper.
'You need this, don't you?'
'................'
'It wasn't nice to go without saying anything, but I guess there's nothing I can do. I was the one said I'd go with you, without asking.'
'................'
'Maybe we'll meet again somewhere.'
'...Tit..."
'So- you know-'
'So--'

(page)
(Tit holds the briefcase out in front of him so Stork can't see he's crying)

(page)
(Stork grabs Tit in his arms while money flies out of the fallen briefcase)

(page)
All you could do was say the name you'd given me, over and over.
I held you to my chest as hard as I could as if to answer you.
I thought, 'If it all ended now, you'd be mine alone, forever'- thinking the thing I mustn't think

(page)
8: A stigma, a sign. A physical characteristic. A psychological peculiarity.

(page)

(page)
That night we didn't look for a hotel. We stayed together under the sky, side by side.
In bits and pieces I told Tit what sort of person I'd been before I met him.
I don't think he understood all of it. He didn't say anything, just listened to me and from time to time held my hand harder.
When I asked him 'Are you scared?' he only said 'No. But it hurts.'

My voice silently breathed into the night sky where there weren't even any stars. The only thing I was sure of was the small warmth at my chest

I thought, this is like a confession

(page)
The one who steals up from behind

(page)

(page)
We'd traveled a long time

You were looking for your blue sky.
I don't know what I was looking for. My past? My self? Some expiation of all I'd done?
No, not that.
The sun I'd been searching for that day, when I found myself buried in garbage.
The warmth your body gives me, here in my arms.
When your finger touched the scars that no longer hurt me, I remembered a pain I can't describe.
My heart is warm as if it were screaming, as if to tell me that I have a heart
------ what I'd wanted was this pain

My heart hurts
That means I'm alive
Stork: Tit
Tit: What?

(page)
'Why did you call me Stork?'
'Uh- well- I thought you'd bring me something.'
'Hm?'
'Grandpa said storks bring babies and happiness. So...'
'So?'
'I thought you'd say, Come along with me,' Tit said, smiling innocently like he always did.
'...you don't like the name?'
'No, it's not that.'
Stork: It's not that.
Tit: Stork...?
Stork: Let's go together
to our Promised Land.

(page)
(Stork looks up over Tit's head, and sees Death)

(page)
Death: I came to meet you

(page)
Tit: Stork...?
I used to know his name.
I don't know if it was his real one
This Death had a nickname that was spoken with fear
'the one who steals up from behind'
Stalk

(Translator's note: In Japanese pronunciation, stork and stalk are the same sound. Thus the narrator and Death both have the same name.)

(page)
9: in a social context, a personal attribute expressive of a negative image

(page)

(page)
The sun is falling....
thorn crown

(page)
thorn crown

(page)

(page)
'I came to meet you.'

(page)
Death smiled at me, carrying the black night on his back
Tit: Stork, who is he? Stork...!?
Death: So that's your stigma?

(page)
...what?
Death: That day...
Death: ...the day I left you on that garbage heap, I thought
Death: 'OK- now the game begins.'
I remember this black black voice that seems to eat into my breast
Death: If I set my pet dog free, just for a while
Death: how will he manage to live?
I remember the smell of sticky blood, and the touch of dried-out dollar bills, and the gritty air

(page)
Death: I wasn't expecting you to lose your memory- well, no...
Death: You didn't lose it. You probably wanted to forget.
When I woke up, that old briefcase was beside me, like a good-bye present
Death: And maybe to be forgotten?
Death: I was dyed into every cell in your body.
I was allowed to live so I could know the same fate as his
Death: Now it's my turn to destroy...
so that like him, I would know the wound of loneliness
Death: ...your photograph.

(page)
Stork: Tit-- run!!!
Death: I love you.

(page)
10. (in Catholicism) Marks which appeared on the body of St. Francis of Assisi and other saints, in the exact pattern of the wounds of Christ. Stigma.

Stigmata

(page)

(page)
Tit: 'Stork'
Tit: Let's go... together...
Tit- run!!!
Death: I love you.
Bluebird

(page)
To the promised land
Bluebird

(page)
F/X sound of gun shot

(page)
(Tit sees blood on his fingers)
Tit: Stork!!!
Tit: Stork- Stork...!!
Death: Not yet...
Death: Not entirely

(page)
Death: You won't feel any pain with just this, right?
F/X: sound of gun firing
Tit: Stor---!!
Stork: (chokes and gasps, spitting blood)
Tit: Stop it!!! Why're you doing this??
Tit: Why are you doing this to Stork?

(page)
Death: You're wrong.
Tit: Huh?
Death: Stork-- is me.
F/X knocking Tit aside with his gun

(page)
F/X Tit falls unconscious to the ground
Stork: Tit!!!
(He aims his gun at Death)

(page)
Death: Be happy
Death: Now you too can see the true darkness
Stork: I'm not like you
Stork: If he's my stigma
Stork: then this pain is all there is.

(page)
Forever
under the ash-gray sky that goes on forever
we two have no home to go back to
and so

(page)

(page)
We were able to go anywhere at all

(page)
"The true darkness"
What was that loneliness he used to look at?
I think I understand it now
an empty pain that had sunk deep inside his wounds...
Tit: Stork?
...the pain of emptiness that goes on forever

(page)
Tit: Are you there, Stork?
Stork: Yeah.
Death has vanished.
But in return, Tit's eyes don't see anything any more
The doctor, sounding sympathetic, said that he'd been hit in a bad spot.
Tit just held my hand tight.
'It's OK,' he said, and smiled. He shook a bit, but he smiled.
I wanted to hold you tight, but you're so strong I didn't want you to see I was crying. So I didn't.
'I said good-bye to him.'
'Mh.'
'Is it really OK, leaving your binoculars here...'
'I can't use them, so he can have them. Maybe he'll find that special person he was looking for...'
'...yeah.'

(page)
Tit: Let's go
He held his hand out without hesitating, and I gripped it hard and harder
so you'll do that for me always

We set out again to find the blue sky that your eyes won't be able to see
This time I'll be the guide to light the way in the darkness you're looking at now
holding your hand and never letting it go
However long or short the way
we won't ever lose sight of each other

(page)
(Stork looks up in surprise)
Tit: What is it?
Stork: ...ahh

(page)
Stork: Nothing...
You smiling, me holding your hand
at that moment I knew for certain that you and I
were walking under a blue sky that went on forever

(page)
The end

(Two pages)
Credits

(page)
Until Death do us part

(page)
(publication history)

(back endpaper)
When I stretched out my hand to a break in the clouds, just, you were there

The end

Part 1

Part 2

Home